Two weeks postpartum still feeling SUPER swollen and crying all the damn time
The day I got home from the hospital with my daughter was the day I googled “are kids even worth it?” and “why do people have kids?”
I just prepared 9 long months for this day, daydreaming about how amazing it would be to have a smiling baby in our home that was the perfect combination of me and Drew.
But instead I was sobbing in Drew's arms telling him I wish it was just us two again. Wishing I was still pregnant, wishing I knew better.
It’s sounds so fucked up to say because I’m totally in love and obsessed with being Charli’s mom. I think she’s the cutest thing in the world. I love her poop sounds, her giggle, her smile, her love for her family (Dusty included), - I even think she’s cute when she cries.
But I feel like I have to get this off my chest. Because whenever I see a new Mom have her baby - I think to myself “I hope she’s doing okay - she needs to know it gets SO MUCH easier”
Now I actually think having a newborn is relatively easy. They wake up - cry for food - you change them - they’re up for like 30 mins and then they go back to sleep and repeat.
But emotionally your hormones are RAGING,
your body is fucked up
you think you can fit into your jeans pre-pregnancy but they’re like 6 sizes too big
you’re still swollen
you’re leaking EVERYWHERE. E V E R Y W H E R E!!
you just want your Mom
and you feel like if you take your eyes off your baby for JUST one second they will die
And to be honest - I didn’t feel that INTENSE love people talk about when they have a baby.
Like yea - I loved her but I wasn’t obsessed (I’m totally obsessed with her now btw - she’s like the fucking best - look at her <--- )
All I thought about was how I lost my sense of freedom...
How if I needed to leave the house for a coffee I needed an extra 30 mins just to get her things together as well, that she’d have to be everywhere I was, that date nights would have to include her as well - and I cried about it - a lot.
To the point where Drew was worried about me and I was worried about me too. And the best thing he told me during that time was “This feeling will pass”. And yea he was right. Looking back it was 100% hormones (picture PMS times 100).
Because NOW I’m finally back to my normal self,
Me and girlfriend killing it
now I would NEVER google “are kids even worth it?”,
now I fit into those skinny jeans and laugh at the jeans I once fit into,
now I don’t only LOVE Charli but I’m obsessed with her (like have you ever seen my IG stories? Follow us HERE ),
and now I really LOVE being a Mom (and Drew as a Dad)
P.S. I'd love to see you on IG!!!