2018 - THE YEAR NOTHING WENT AS PLANNED
I just came off a high of hitting really great milestones in life and in business in 2016 and 2017
Some of the highlights included:
Working one on one with amazing clients who were able to leave their 9-5 jobs
Launching my first ever group program that bought in a 22K month
Creating 4-5K in passive income
Buying a home
Hiring a team of fellow entrepreneurs to support my vision going forward
Giving birth to the sweetest little girl - God I love her so much
I thought that this was just the beginning of everything going up, up, and up from here but God had different plans.
As we entered 2018 I set out big goals and big dreams and nothing (well most things) went as planned.
Here’s a look back at the year:
2018 wasn’t the year I became a mother - but it was the year I finally FELT like a Mom
I mean of course I have to start with Charli Grace. She’s been the biggest blessing and gift I have ever received.
And although this is true - Motherhood was hard on me at first. And if I’m being SUPER honest - it took about 9 months of motherhood to actually feel like a Mom.
- I missed my routine,
- I missed the spontaneous trips to Starbucks where I was able to leave the house without thinking about if I had enough diapers in the diaper bag.
- I missed having my body to myself
What I don’t miss? The person I was before becoming a Mom. I now see the world with so much more love. I’m a better wife, a better daughter, and a better friend.
I save the last bite of my food for someone who really wants it (even if its chocolate),
I see how much my Mom really loves me (and I cry about it sometimes),
I appreciate the little things (like going to Starbucks ALL by myself)
I feel the same but also like a completely different person, my goals/dreams/visions are no longer about ME, they’re about US. And even though miss Charli Grace needs me to wipe her little bum or pick her up when she lands on her cushioned bum as she perfects her walking, I realized that I needed her more than she needs me.
2018 was the year I *finally* married my best friend.
I would have married him years ago if it were up to me but I also wouldn’t have changed anything because our day was perfection.
I choose fathers day weekend because I always remember the weather being perfect for fathers day, and for our wedding day it was just that. 72 degrees, not a hot or cold person in sight, and overcast for outstanding photos. The wedding captured our laid back but loving styles. We said our I do’s in my Uncle’s backyard celebrating with 80 people we love.
The sun came out as we said our I do’s making it apparent that God and my Grandpa Charlie (who our daughter was named after) were with us.
It was good music, good food (I know chef Dave would appreciate a shout out if he’s reading this so I should also mention it was GREAT food ;)), we didn’t let the music stop playing all night, we took bets on who would be the first person to end up in the pool at the end of the night and to everyone’s surprise it was my lovely Husband and our Officiant.
Yupp - right in this pool right here:
Trips to NYC, Nashville, Vegas, and Italy
2018 was the year of TRAVEL
Our calendar was filled with bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, weddings, business trips, you name it.
Charli went on 6 round trip flights before the time she turned one (she rocked them all) and it showed our family how important it is for us to experience the world as a family. We discussed not only is it important to be a family who thrives off experiences but that it’s also important for us to experience different cultures and see the world with new eyes.
These trips inspired the family to do something crazy and travel the world for the entire year (Italy, Bali, London just to name a few). And not only that - we were going to film all of our adventures together. The film was going to be about a family of 3 traveling the world, meeting new people and experiencing different cultures. It was going help shine my business in a new light but like I said before, nothing really went as planned…
Miscarriages and un-expected pregnancies
2018 was the year I got pregnant… twice.
It was two months before our wedding, Charli was 5 months old, and I got the nudge to take a pregnancy test. I did the deed and turned out - I was pregnant. But instead of running out of the bathroom smiling ear to ear to hug Drew and tell him the good news, I cried. I had just gotten into a routine, lost my baby weight, and by no means did I feel ready.
The anxiety passed and eventually turned into excitement.
I finally got used the the idea I’d be pregnant on our wedding day and I brought this excitement with me when we drove from CO to NY to get ready for our big day.
On the last night of our road trip that short lived excitement turned into grief. We miscarried.
Then, two weeks AFTER our wedding we found out we we pregnant… again. Same feelings of “how did this even happen?”, I just planned THIS (a year long travel trip) and now I may have to cancel, I’m not ready, to eventually okay God - I need you, please show our family we’ve got this.
I’m now 30 weeks pregnant and ready to see what this new baby has in store for our family.
2018 was the year I moved back home.
With every new year spent in Colorado the more I loved the state and the less I loved NY. So why did I go back?
I was lonely.
In 2016 we bought our very first home. It was exciting because growing up I never lived in a house we OWNED. I got to decorate it, paint it, design it in all the ways I wanted to - and I bought REAL furniture to furnish it instead of the next hottest item I found on the side of the road. Only problem was - I never had anyone except for Drew to share it with.
When I got pregnant with Charli there was no one around to tell me my belly got bigger than last month.
When the weather was 70 degrees in February - I couldn’t call anyone for a quick hiking trip.
I spent a lot of weekends on FaceTime going through my contacts and hoping ONE would have an hour to chat.
The holidays this year reminded me of why it was so important to go back home. Last year we spent Christmas as a family of three in our home with the Christmas tree. We FaceTimed the NY’ers back home and I wished more than anything that I could have been there. This year we spent Christmas together as a family. It was fun seeing my sisters, brother, 13 cousins, 10 aunts and uncles, Drews family, and extended family loving on my little girl. Although she was too young to understand what exactly was going on- it gave me a glimpse of whats to come.
And with such a big (and amazing) family it was super important to have my kids KNOW their family - not just over a computer screen.
And people always ask so I’ll answer- I don’t know if we’ll stay in NY forever but for now it’s exactly where we’re meant to be.
2018 was the year I became a Christian.
I’ll be sharing more of this testimony in another post because it wasn’t a simple “I now love Jesus and He is my Lord and Savior” - it was more like 5 years in the making.
But let me just say this - looking back at 2018 I know God had a plan for me and our family. And as hard as it was at times He built us stronger and closer than ever before and re-aligned us to our values.
Now- Sundays are my favorite day of the week because it’s time devoted to family and God. We go to church at 9am (what- me and let alone my husband?), drop off Charli at the infant center, pray together, be kid free for an hour, leave with a special message from God that we apply to our lives, and most of all feel more connected to our God every week.
Now I also-
-Jam out to worship music on long car rides
-Stay up late learning more about his word
-And in 2019 Drew and I are planning to join a Bible study group because to be honest the bible can be HARD to read.
-I also have a few other volunteer ideas up my sleeve.
And the really cool thing about this is I WANT to do it. Like it gets me going, the more and more I learn, the more connected I feel, the more I know that whatever happened this 2018 was all designed FOR ME. That I don’t need to try and take control because God’s got this - he always does.
2018 was the year I decided to close my business.
Oh gosh that’s a hard one and it took stubborn Linda a while to come to this conclusion. I fought it. I wanted to be the working stay at home Mom. I wanted to juggle it all. But deep down - I didn’t.
Naturally I’m an independent, do everything myself kind of girl with big dreams and big goals. If someone asks me if I need help it’s HARD for me to say yes. But here’s what God wanted to show me. He wanted to show me what marriage is all about. That I have a man that can provide for the family and will never make me feel like I need to “put in my part”.
I created the belief that I needed to provide financially but in a marriage it’s not about “I”, it’s about “we”.
He showed me that right now my kids are my priority. Yes I could work on my business with them - but I kind of just don’t want to. And that’s okay.
When you’re living in God’s image of what he wants most for you - there’s no need to compare yourself or set goals based on what you think will give you happiness. You feel at complete peace and that’s how I feel going into this 2019.
It’s now evident I was too focused on being BIG, I lost sight of my values (family and taking things slow), I got too caught up in me me me, Charli showed me that. God humbled me. He showed me what an amazing man I have as a husband, he showed me that I’m actually a lot happier when I’m not focused on me, he showed me that success has little to do with business, wealth, happiness and more about love, gratitude (the real kind - not the one where you force it), and joyfulness.
And as for 2019 - idk what will happen but I know it’s going to be more blessed than ever with family, friends, God, and my kids on my side.
Plans for 2019
Build a local family business !! - Starting in January I’m going to be working on a POWERFUL brand for our family business. It will not only show the work we can do but our values behind our business. Long Island is kind of old school and I’d love to bring some new perspective to the community! Seriously can’t wait.
Get into a routine of working, working out, the kids at the grandparents, and more date nights with the hubs.
Work on my FITNESS and REALLY not get pregnant lol
Buying a home with my Mom that’s way below what we can afford so I can focus on raising babies
Most of all know that with God, anything is possible!!
Linda Bello Bergmann
P.S. I'd love to see you on IG!!!